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Post by GuessWho on Jan 11, 2006 20:18:06 GMT -5
I wrote these today during study hall, so they aren't that great, still revising them. Tell me what you think, suggestions, ect. In Your Light When the sky falls When Satan calls When my life’s in disarray
You bring me back And in your arms Your glory never fades
In moments of joy When my life is a toy And all is at my will
You say may name And touch my heart My emptiness you fill
The final word The missing piece In this puzzle of life
You are there And with your voice You turn my dark to light
Cloud of Doubt Through the darkness I stumble Won’t you rescue me?
The walls of my faith crumble Can’t you hear my plea?
My heart cries out My body withers My tears run true My soul, it quivers
Just to hear you say my name And tell me that your proud Send your glory down on me And rid me of this cloud
Hidden These poems that I write These fragments of my mind Intrigue you, do they not? These pieces of my time
The words, they have to rhyme That’s all this is to you Adjectives and verbs Even a noun or two
But, you cannot see Past the surface of this page, The warrior deep inside Pacing in it’s cage
Wanting to be free To show the world it’s best Then rise up to the heavens There to find its rest
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Post by *Savannah* on Jan 11, 2006 20:36:12 GMT -5
*claps* bravo, bravo! I suck at writing . Your really good ^_^
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Post by GuessWho on Jan 11, 2006 20:36:55 GMT -5
thankies. i was bored -_- tips any?
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Post by *Savannah* on Jan 11, 2006 20:41:35 GMT -5
haha, you don't want tips from me like I said me=suck at writing in any shape, shift or form -_- its quiet pathetic really.
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Post by RoherynLOTR on Jan 11, 2006 20:49:22 GMT -5
I quite like them! but I'm also the kind that can't write poetry at all...
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Post by GuessWho on Jan 11, 2006 20:49:52 GMT -5
lol thanks. no tips?
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Post by Shadowfax on Jan 13, 2006 19:59:21 GMT -5
I like them also, but I cant write poetery for my life.
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Post by spotlightfan2 on Jan 15, 2006 22:22:06 GMT -5
^^^^ What she said^^^^
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Post by winxqueen16 on Jan 18, 2006 10:23:04 GMT -5
I think they are really good . But remember , poems and songs do not have to rhyme. But yours are really good. they have depth in them.
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